all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize