perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I would ride that face into the sunset
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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