I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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