we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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