No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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