Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
