that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
