i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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