you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
