Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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