last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
