I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
