I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We left an ass print on the piano.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
