Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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