his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
