Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
