HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
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Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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