My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have aggressive nipples.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
