i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
be right there i have to get my cape
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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