I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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