Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so let's talk penis.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
