You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
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