dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
