There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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