I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
