so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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