Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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