we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
