Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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