Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
