If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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