I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
