I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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