Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
