Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
