Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
