Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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