I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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