I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
