the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
