He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
