I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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