they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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