a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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