I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize