a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
