The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
