i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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