Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
