I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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