how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize