We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
