my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
