Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
