in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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