I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think my vagina is haunted
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
