whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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