porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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