my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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